10 things not to say to someone with a mental illness

Key Takeaways

When we talk about mental health, the most important thing to remember is that validation isn't just being "polite." It is actually a vital part of helping someone heal. Mental illness is a real medical condition, and it isn't something a person can just "turn off" or "fix" with willpower. When we say things like "just shake it off" or "be normal," we aren't just being unhelpful, we are being scientifically inaccurate. These phrases make people feel alone and misunderstood. Instead of using hurtful labels like "lazy" or "dramatic," we should focus on a person's strength as they manage their health. It’s also important to remember that while things like positive thinking or prayer can feel good, they aren't a replacement for professional medical help. Telling someone that "thinking happy thoughts" is a cure-all can actually keep them from getting the treatment they really need. At the end of the day, helping someone means being patient and listening without judgment. Recovery isn't a straight line, and having a safe, supportive person to talk to makes all the difference.

10 Things to Avoid Saying to Someone with a Mental Illness

As a society, we have come a long way in our understanding of mental illness. However, there are many myths and stigmas associated with mental health. Being invalidated or downplayed by others is one of the most painful things a person with a mental illness may go through.  In this blog post, we will explore 10 things not to say to someone with a mental illness.

1. “Just shake it off.”

   Mental illness is not something that can be turned on and off easily. It is a serious condition that requires professional assistance and care. Saying this to someone suffering from a mental illness indicates that they choose to be sick, which is not the case.

2. “It’s all in your head.”

   This statement is not only dismissive, but it also trivializes the person’s problems. Mental illness is a real and valid issue, just like physical illness.

3. “You’re just looking for attention.”

   People suffering from mental illnesses are not looking for attention; they are looking for support and help. Suggestions that their difficulties are faked are not only insulting but also useless.

4. “You’re lazy/weak/crazy.”

   Mental illness does not reflect a person’s worth or character. Using negative labels to describe someone suffering from a mental illness is not only hurtful, but it also promotes harmful stereotypes.

5. “Why can’t you just be normal?”

   Normal is a relative term, and everyone’s experience is different. Asking someone with a mental illness to be “normal” is not only impossible but also unfair.

6. “You’re overreacting.”

   A person’s experience of mental illness is valid, regardless of how others may perceive it. Suggesting that someone is overreacting is dismissive and unhelpful.

7. “You’re being dramatic.”

   Mental illness should not be dismissed lightly, and implying that someone is being dramatic is rude and disrespectful.

8. “You should just be happy.”

   Happiness is not always easy to acquire, and it is not always within a person’s control. It is not only difficult but also unfair to expect someone suffering from a mental disease to be cheerful.

9. “All you have to do is pray and think positively.”

   While prayer and positive thinking can be beneficial, they are not a replacement for professional assistance. Suggestions that these things alone can cure a mental disorder are not only counterproductive, but also detrimental.

10. “You should just move on.”

    Mental illness is a difficult condition to overcome. It necessitates expert assistance and support, and telling someone to “get over it” is disrespectful and unproductive.

Remember that people suffering from mental illnesses are not alone, and their condition does not define them. They are strong and capable people who deserve compassion and understanding. 

When speaking with someone who has a mental illness, it is vital to be sympathetic and mindful. The words we use have a huge impact, and we need to be aware of the impact of our words. If you or someone you love is suffering from a mental illness, it is important to seek professional support and assistance.